


Don't You Dare

by angelofgrief



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 08:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/911009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofgrief/pseuds/angelofgrief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I deeply regret that you must make a choice: the Enterprise or the men here and—"</p>
<p>based on a tumblr post (found in notes)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't You Dare

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of my own [post](http://endallhope.tumblr.com/post/57021578840) on tumblr.
> 
> Since no one wanted to fucking write it, I have made my best attempt on writing it. It is helps, I've been watching TOS (up to episode 15) and I have better understanding of Jim and Spock then before.

_"Captain, considering the situation at Herux IV, it was the only logical—"_

_"Return to your station, Spock,"_

x **X** x

It had just turn 2230— 10:30 at night. The rest of the crew were either asleep, getting ready to sleep, or on their respected shifts. The Enterprise was put on auto-pilot since their destination was a simple pit stop just outside of the Kellint Galaxy. It would about eleven hours to get to, a little past breakfast hours. So what was Spock doing in the hallway instead of his quaters? What was he doing, standing in front of the captain's door just a few feet away from it?

The Enterprise was attacked a little over four hours ago.

Spock and a couple of the crew members (seven people in total) were transported down the planet Herux IV to catalogue various planets and test the waters when a group of rogue space bandits opened fire at them. Judging by their tattered clothing, he made the assumption that they were being chased— it was no concern of what or who was chasing the bandits, he merely made note for the captain's log. They had much more advance weaponery then their hand phasers and it was difficult fight. When Spock had contacted the Transporter Room, he was told that the Enterprise was being attack as well. The aliens that fired at the Enterprise were the aliens that sought out the rogue bandits. Assuming the Enterprise was an ally to them, they had began firing.

The Transporter couldn't locate their position— the blasts from the enemy had some metalic property that made the beams unable to locate them. Spock watched as the men went down slowly with only one upside: so were the space bandits.

_"S-Sp—S-S-pock c-c-can you-you hear me?"_

_"Yes, Captain, I can. Our phasers barely scatch their arm and it seems futile to continue the fight,"_

_"Yeah, tell me about it. Listen, we'll get you back on ship, don't you worry about it,"_

_"I deeply regret that you must make a choice: the Enterprise or the men here and—"_

_—"Don't you even say it, Spock!"_

_"—and you must choose the Enterprise, sir,"_

It was his Vulcan side that made the choice: the Enterprise. But even then, Spock couldn't blame it on that— it was still him either way. He only made the right and logical choice. A captain's first priority is his ship and the people inside; Spock wasn't inside and so, he wasn't his first priority, regardless of the relationship they had. Still, he should've known better. To ask Jim that, to make him choose. It wasn't a competition, it was necessary for the survival of the Enteprise. As captain, he managed to save the Enterprise and the remaining men including Spock transported to the ship.

Spock remembers what happens afterward as a blur in time. He had impeccable memory so he wonders why everything around him happened so fast, so slow, so cold. Jim hadn't spoke to him ever since and his face remained passive, something that bothered Spock to no end.

x **X** x

So, he stands here, in front of the captain's quaters, unable to figure out why he feels like he can't move. There's a knock on the door (he doesn't realize that he had moved his hand) and a barely muffled _Come in!_ beyond the door. He presses numbers in a screen and the doors slide open. There is shuffling as Spock comes in but he doesn't say a word. Jim is under the bed, probably looking for something, not realizing it who it was. The doors slide behind Spock as he stands there as if he was on the bridge: hands behind his back, spine straight, face erased of emotion and chin up.

"I said, come i—"

Jim looks up and sees Spock. He stops searching for whatever it was and begins to slowly stand up. Spock is still looking at him, looking at his face and his face still remains passive, almost similar to his.

"Yes Spock, is something wrong on deck?"

"I am... I apologize for my actions on Herux IV. It was quite illogical of me and will not happen again,"

At this point, Spock isn't looking at the captain. He stares down at the carpet as he hears (rather than see) Jim comes closer. His face is suddenly grabbed by a pair of warm hands that force him to look at Jim. Spock widens his eyes uncharacteristically. All he sees is a pair of eyes so bright, so blue, so... full of pain before Jim says,

"Don't you dare... Don't you dare make me choose. Ever."

Every part of his body feels like lead— a numbing, painful dull kind of lead. Jim's eyes are red and he can see it, the fight to stop the tears and Spock does the only thing that he can do. He puts his hand in position of a mind meld, watching Jim close his eyes. He let's Jim's emotions wash over him: pain, angst, hopelessness, loss, loneliness, and love. He tries, for the love of everything, he tries to get Jim to realize how sorry he feels and he does get the message across. But he also feels guilty, remorse, and suddenly, he feels inadequate, worthless, a disappointment to the man he said he loved.

_I love you, Spock_

Jim leans against Spock's forehead, breaking the connection. Spock doesn't realize he's crying, all he's worried is losing his captain, his best friend, his... his lover. Jim's holding him now, he didn't realize they were on the floor. He feels warm in his embrace and—

"Jim... please, I am sorry, I never meant any—"

"It's alright Spock, it's alright. I forgive you,"

Jim means it, of course he does. And Spock doesn't dare to call him a liar, doesn't dare to move from his position (arms wrapped tightly around him with his face buried against his neck), doesn't dare tell him that he was wrong. But Jim knows— he always seem to know what Spock thinks even before he begins to think about it. He feels a ghost of a smile against his head and a pair of hands holding him close, warm and so similar to home.

_I love you... **Jim**_

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, all mentions of planets and galaxies and other space-like stuff are absolutely fake.
> 
> Unless it becomes real later on.


End file.
